Resurrection
is in order, from my past there is no trace and I am afraid I lost my face
death by
brain, by being drained and the soul is stained, keeping me well restrained
from the
year of pain, which might be in vein
the sole
purpose of these lines is the awake, the negativity away to take
….
I have lost
all the words, forgot to place them around my thoughts,
I imprisoned
the creativity, suppressed it, I know I did not even fought,
for the cost
of being sad and depraved, holding the grudges so tight,
squeezing
their venom our is slowly soaking deeper, red is filling my sight.
Direction
was taken away, blown away, flushed away with all the emotions
my mind
became a huge, toxic dumping ground of epic proportions …,
I feel the
desperation growing, but still choose to suffer in silence,
it is all on
edge inside of me and often I imagine solution as a violence.
How bad I
have become, how infectious can the thoughts actually be ….
poisoning
everything, spreading hate, anger, frustration, desperation in me,
and growing
this nothingness that cannot be filled, despite the endless tries,
I feel so crippled
and frozen in this time, in this place, this life, until it dies.
I am not
able to see the darkness anymore, it will end up only with the pill,
overwhelming
thought, the invisible chains for life and will …. yes they can kill,
slowly
pushing the blade deeper in my soul, I think I can say I am really fed up.
is courage
missing? or is it the remains of hope for resurrection keeping me up.
that one
thought, that appeared out of nowhere and somehow stuck around
“never give
up, never back down, never let your knees touch the ground”,
I need to
remind myself, that the sole purpose of these sleepy morning lines,
I hope when
I finish you, more will come, flood the shit out and keep what’s mine.
One by one
we will stand hold and we will fight trying to defeat all the fear,
more effort
is in place, lot more to kill that beast, otherwise the end is near,
it can be
the last stand, or it can be all a I lie and a way to realize I am not dead,
it just a
huge misunderstanding and solution is I am only fucked up in my head.
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