Pressure
in the vacuum, I am aware of it´s existence,
like
a thief it is stealing my stamina to make the step,,
makes
my soul inhabitable place of sorrow and pain,
to
make it vanish all the tries have failed, were in vein?
Fear
of failure feeds its gluttony and hole grows rapidly,
sleep
is crushed with the weight, help I seek in faith,
pressed
to the ground by grieve and nobody knows,
screaming
in silent attempts to free my self for once.
I
paint the walls of my hole with anger, so greedy it is,
hole's
own gravity pulls me when I try to make a leave,
hypnotized
and paralyzed by pixels which are so deadly,
living
the movie while i am dying on a strangers bed.
Hole
spins me, confuses me, erases me from the living,
but
I still have will, intoxicated by my fear to try again,
decisions
are harder when outcome predicts the past,
while
the hole fills the emptiness, I am loosing my heart.
Lies,
to me a I lie in that hole, fight me, persuade myself,
as
I know hole's true face, that its me, only me in person,
mutilated
by fear that I will miss the hole when i succeed,
afraid
to leave it's loving arms, rather stay than return.
The
black hole is not real at all but still firmly holds me,
loving
hug that might suffocate me one beautiful day,
will
not let it to come to that point, am i really asking?
Baby
steps I make, pinch it and let if drown in my smile.
The
holes bring the glimpse of loneliness as I stay aside,
waking
up from the dreams is hard as I haven´t slept,
my
need prevail, consciousness will conquer the hole,
only
way is to fill it to the top with no space to breath.
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