pictures, images in my head, so many
pictures, images drive me mad, madder,
my personal picture horror show,
present forever, form me to see it.
dividing me, like it divides the crowds,
impulses streaming through my body
as they bounce of the walls of surety.
could it be called pinball of desires?
i stare into the light, arguing with my mind,
unable to do what i want, fell or need,
like invisible pervert bondage session
i never agree to, buy none get on free.
good morning regrets of yesterdays,
you come in anyway, annoy me whole fucking day.
what i want and what i don’t, again.
feeling like the ball in pinball of desires.
my mind changes as the autumn weather,
ability to stay constant gone in the wind of past.
love and hate fight for me, pull me apart,
chaos without a manual, i have to write.
i can not close my eyes, as i see what i am,
what i want, drags me in like a magnet,
i can not fight it, it is in, it is part of me.
trying to avoid it like flippers in pinball of desires.
truth? reality won’t vanish, can not be erased,
dealing goes hand in hand with accepting.
it is the only chance for the high score
and not loosing in pinball of desires.
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