150, 23/01/2013

150

Obdobie blahobytu pre hŕstku vyvolených,

zastrený anonymitou výberu kata pre budúcnosť,

ples príšer pre nás trvalo pokorených

po skončení ukryje ich tieň a beztrestnosť.

Zaplatíme si ďalšie a ďalšie prefackanie,

masochizmus zúboženého nečinného národa,

svoju poctivosť a hrdosť strácame na počkanie,

stále sme ticho a hlúpo veríme, že toto je sloboda.

Budova kde denne hromadia svoje výkaly

tí, ktorí vybraní boli aby nás ich zbavili.

Nastavme aj druhé líce, ako by sa nás netýkali,

čo zo seba dostanú, aj infantilní by sa hanbili.

Deti v oblekoch dospelých zahrávajú sa s národom,

výsmech našej malosti v úplnej bezmocnosti,

sústavné znásilňovanie verejnosti trpiacej nádorom,

jediný ústav kde chovanci tešia sa hojnosti.

Na ústave čistíte si špinu z vašich topánok,

právom si stále utierate vaše slizké zadky,

kradnete ľudom aj posledný kľud a spánok,

vaša arogancia do poslednej krvi kvapky.

Čas Váš sa blíži, keď niekto preruší nečinnosť,

postaví Vás pred posledný súd a amen,

jedine Vaše životy ukoja ľudí zlosť,

z Vašich existencií nezostane na kameni kameň.

A ty len mor ich slovenský národu,

lebo siahli na tvoj život a budúcnosť,

nestačí iba uprieť im slobodu,

aby ich nasledovníci cítili strach a zodpovednosť.

Picture show within, 19/08/2011. finished 23/01/2013

Picture show within

Again those question, what are the cries,

we've been through this so many times

that I just can’t decide, just can’t choose,

but I feel like there’s something I could loose.

All these images I can see as visions in front of me,

another lies, new tries to control what I’m gonna be.

I’m getting exhausted of being unable to switch,

just stop looking, playing my mind like a bitch.

Sometimes they show their teasing side,

cause a pulse through my body to slide,

concentration disruption at any time of the day,

feels like I’m stepping out of my body, I may.

It’s like a movie I never bought tickets for

after first few scenes can’t watch it anymore.

The duality is holding me tight in the chair,

I want to leave, stay even it’s not fair.

The message stays hidden behind the scenes,

coded in the images an forgotten screams.

Reason there is for the show, about this I’m sure,

bring the images to life could be the cure.

Step out or you gonna dream to death

and feel regrets before your last breath.

Drop the curtain and let them see inside,

whatever they see, there’s no reason to hide.

Useless existence, 05/12/2012, finished 21/01/2013

Useless existence

Look at us, take a look on our tiny miserable existence,

crawling around without any sense of being or living

without for having some sense in this life, no sense,

the lies, disillusions, which trick us are still persisting.

Worthless lives grouped around same false values,

allow our desires to destroy what we have been given,

so high we are for the freedom we call for so often,

wrong understanding which can never be forgiven.

Is so far from being truth, that it is actually an illusion,

proud ourselves of being so evolved, so on the top,

we forget that our lives is our biggest confusion

but we are kept quiet, silence was very bad swap.

What we teach our children should be a treason

innocent little souls forced to blind acceptance.

Why? we do not even bother to look for a reason,

what we agree with is widely present ignorance.

Our future we place in hands of those reckless,

with our labour and tears we pay their greed,

silent protests, ignores and we still follow like faithless

and still we proud ourselves to be the special breed.

The feeling of freedom miss sold on pay monthly bases,

no matter where, we all dance to the same tones,

when we stop and open eyes they create a crisis,

why bother and worry, when there is still more to loan.

Running around, thinking we are in control of our lives,

praying to the gods without ears to help our poor herd.

The power to torture given to them by us, believing their lies,

but we are good at ignoring truth, like it was never heard.

Who do we think we are about with this life to fool,

shame and normality became the cradle of restriction.

environment where lie and disinformation became a tool

and the originality, being exceptional faces a destruction.

Numbers, 21/01/2013

Numb3rs

My life changes as often

as do my phone numbers,

past in forgotten numbers,

inactive cards and lost contacts.

Like the dreams that went wrong

sometimes turned into nightmares.

every number for one dream,

every card for one disaster.

Country code changes with

every little try in the search

to find my tiny private spot,

not so many codes, not so many spots.

By the time i remembered new number

i had to forget another dream,

with every acquired card,

there was no one for my dream to share.

Saving new contacts, new device,

empty like the new life i just started,

filling it with desires and goals,

deleting and forgetting experiences.

Camera was there to witness all this,

pictures got lost, erased, misplaced,

memories stored on a sim card

became part in anonymous pile of waste.

Devices ended up in number of bins,

or forgotten in drawers, pockets,

new names, old dreams, known, deleted,

i pray for the last number to have.

I do not remember with what number i started,

but i remember all the lost dreams i hoped for

and i am pretty sure what i want my next number to be,

one that will be unforgettable.

There are codes i will never have to use in my number,

like all the lives i will never be able to live,

but my number will be one of a kind,
(not)available for some of you for numerous reasons.

The new era, 02/11/2012

The new era

I feel free a bit more,

have less ballast in my core.

Cuffs on my mind are loose,

they will be gone, that’s what I choose.

Balance settles slowly down inside,

sets all the argues way aside.

It will make me hate my life less.

clear is the picture to me this day,

i’ll just be myself from now if i may.

Decision which is not easily done,

as this can’t be shown to everyone.

Dark side of the noon now rise,

understanding is not hidden in the size.

Fight remains the same, playground i change,

my rules i break, to fit them my age.

Divide and conquer is strategy of mine,

rule the worlds that can’t cross same line,

you are the sun, power of the first world,

the darkens of the second one will leave you without a word.

The new era

Contrast in the constant change of mind,

my very own confusion, one of a kind.

That decision tends to change a lot,

how can I be sure of what is right and what is not.

Only one thing is here, promised and signed,

and despite this i’m acting like being blind.

Sometimes we change, evolve and adapt,

even when i feel like being trapped.

Acceptation of the reality …, it’s mine.

I accept me, whole piece and i’ll be just fine.

Voices, written 05/12/2012, finished 17/01/2013

Voices

Psst hey you wake up from your quiet routine,

ages ago that’s how it all started, word by word,

being shy was so unknown, no manner, no respect.

monologues turned to systematic regular brain wash.

I face it since that day, feeling so helpless.

Silence so common, when we have it, we do not realize it,

precious when it is gone and we beg for it so hard.

Sometimes to voice in my head makes me wish to depart,

evaporate my mind in a try to ignore his teasing voice,

slip into the space he will disappear into consciousness.

Driven crazy by his selfish concerned conversations.

Hide out i have found in sleep, is now also disturbed,

that is when the other beast wakes up to glory

they say the word i feel sorry for and envy their courage,

both pushing slowly, rewriting my mind into madness.

Confused and angry as all i hear might be truth,

trying to create and addiction to the real reality,

silence becomes a foreign word in today’s language.

Holding my mouth while i shout in an attempt to help,

to grab, strangle the neck of the fragile laziness.

Words they shout, say, repeat and engrave to my brain,

forever will be the part of an unreal personality,

they are waking it to life, to feel, see and rise

day when they become silent, i shall be reborn

and all the obsolete worries, will bother me less.

World, world, world, written in 2012, finished 15/01/2013

World, world, world

World, world, beautiful world i was not able to see

sight was blinded by comfort of giving up my ME.

Freedom misunderstood, alone, hurt, left behind,

as a way not to have to confront ME with my kind.

See, in front of your eyes is the way, always has been,

as have been these letter and lines, returning your sin.

We feel it under the skin, the touch i cannot ignore

but it is so so strong and still asking for lot more.

How many times did i annoy my own mind,

with that senseless question of being blind.

I cannot see unless i really set myself free,

living and thinking free is what i was born to be.

What i see is what i try to create from scratch

than i’ll find a place to live, which will be a match

where the soul can have it’s silent, warm nest,

returning there, starting another brave protest.

All the real limits are the ones we built

maybe cause we hate when we face our guilt,

now i see clearly what lays in front of me

i feel it’s right, it’s the place where i want to be.

It’s not ready yet, i will oversee the construction,

existing ruins of the past await a total destruction.

That world has been here, waiting, growing, for ages,

only the mind to realize this had to pass few stages.

Now when i reached the point of evolution

where i understand the existing confusion

and thoughts for a change are creating an order

chaos is coming to an end, no more disorder.

Everything i ever wanted, i just can reach,

say goodbye to …., listen to every my speech

welcome the world where happiness is forever,

take it now, do not let go, just got to be clever.

Maybe you will not be willing to understand,

be aware i tried hard to be a good friend.

Full fill your dreams, i will give a try to mine,

if they can not exist in one head, it is the end of line.

Fight is over, written 14/01/2013

Fight is over

Life, where every day is a fight,

enemy constrained within.

Daily battles to move on a little bit,

fighting against nothing,

big empty black hole

sucking me in, taking me prisoner.

Every small battle i win

brings me closer the disappearance.

War of words and arguments

streamed live through my mind.

Two sides in one living organism,

biological twins hating each other.

Every step forward,

precedes another invisible fight,

time is the only changing element.

Gentle touch of the screen,

another deceiving plan crashing

or crashing my day?

Repetition is the base of success.

I consider understanding a win.

The danger will not vanish,

but knowledge prevent any other loss.

Expecting fight with illusion of an advantage.

Aware and prepared,

i will see this before.

Environmental trap of chosen hell.

World of giving up stabbing me in my back,

mind balancing the leverage of will.

Fights that never existed.

Your happiness turned to mine,

the era of peace.

I hold the key with no keyhole to fit,

as the door i only imagine.

With the white flag

i wipe my tears

and finally i smile.

Pravda, 11/01/2013

Pravda

Pravda je skľučujúca, pravda je šokujúca,

ležala a čakala.

Pravda o zmene a premene,

bola napísaná už na počiatku.

Pravda skrytá v čase a sebectve,

v očiach plačúcich bez sĺz.

Pravda s úsmevom na tvári,

tlačiaca sa cez stiahnuté hrdlo.

Pravda v smutnom kroku,

ktorý si razí cestu nocou.

Pravda je inšpirujúca, pravda je poburujúca,

vo svojej jednoduchej nevinnosti.

Pravda je minulosť, pravdou je udalosť,

nemý prednes, ktorý prebúdza kôru.

Pravda cestujúca časom na pomoc

zaceliť zodretú sklovinu.

Pravda, ktorá môže spôsobiť pohromu,

šťastie očakávané s úzkosťou.

Pravda je tá čo mi tvorí budúcnosť

aj keď jej forma a chuť sa mení.

Pravda nemôže byť oklamaná

maškarným plesom hnutia za normalitu.

Pravda odhalí, odkryje, ukáže

jadro stratené v plesni zla.

Pravda mi nedá zabudnúť,

prečíta mi všetko na rovinu, bez servítky.

Pravda je len jedna, originál,

aj keď jej klony občas mätú realitu.

Pravda ničí konvencie času

a je dokonale neomylná, možno nedokonale.

Pravda nemôže byť ale povedaná

a predsa zase počujem jej krásny hlas.

Now and before, written on 06/07/20012, finished on 10/01/2013

Now and before

my soul travelled such a distance in all the years passed by,

through all those routes, hidden paths and wrong turns,

many of those were illusions based on a one big lie,

caused on my heart, soul and mind so many hard burns.

i thought that that was it, when i was thrown into the life

so empty, so hungry, i started to live the well known day-mare,

surrounded by crowd where dreams and rebelling was rife,

looking so hard for someone with whom my life to share

first she showed me the way, for which it was too soon,

found the treasure which i buried and hidden some time,

this gift is showing me the truth, now when it’s noon

and loosing the will, the power, seems like the worst crime.

than i got on the career shit i believed in for while.

thought the days i bumped of the wals built to constrain,

so many days it felt like being forced to live in exile,

making it so hard some sense in this life to obtain.

from loving life transofrmed into being shaken from hate,

merry go round in my feelings, thoughts and desires,

from buy and do not need, to the feeling it’s too late,

now my only job is, in me to extinguish all those fires.

than the thinking machine fired up it’s perpetual factory,

filed so many pages, emptied many times through my eye,

often i will find the truth in the past to my satisfactory,

advice and knowledge that i never would be able to buy.

authorities, so far, so wrong, so not willing to understand,

fitting in, killing individuality becomes issue of them all,

the hunger grows beyond my mind on the other hand,

the next step i will make will answer the ancient call.

now in midday questioning all the reasons why to go on,

as thoughts of an end become so warming, flattering,

the will is gone, the visions, the talks are based upon,

whether i get crazy or between the lines i’ll be reading.

the judgement day turns slowly into the last long night,

where forever the future of my conscience will be written,

time will show at the end of this path, if there is a light,

but the page i am about to turn can not be overwritten.